FEC nisi

Day 116 

General status update

Anxiety level/insane euphoria (+/- 1-10,000): had the first dose of Dexys intravenously in the chemo ward, but they won’t really kick in until tomorrow.

Fatigue/weakness: to the max

Nausea demon: for the next 10 days or so it’s just him fighting against the Fosapprepitant, Ondansetron, DomPeridone, Cyclizine and the Dexys, and he’s already ramping it up; I expect the big push to commence with a wake-up call at around 5am, judging from previous experience.

Despair Demon: starting to look pale and ill as the Dexys begin to take effect – Dexys are Kryptonite to anyone professionally engaged in despair production and management.

Chemo Muse: she’s anticipating the Dexys and is starting to go all glittery around the edges.

Chemo Brian: I left him and Chemo Rat Brian together on the sofa to keep my place under the big knitted throw warm while I write this, and will be returning to them the instant I have published this post.

PICC line (deceased): its spectre was haunting the Chemo Ward today – more on that tomorrow

State of mind: dazed and relieved. So relieved.

Hair: A big day for Hair - frozen, glooped and now comfortably ensnooded - you can hear the loud purring through the snood.

  

Yes, I’m now completely FECked; the 6^th dose was administered between 10.30 and 4pm today –as usual there were unpleasant and painful complications, this time unavoidable, which I’ll write about tomorrow. For me, FEC has never been simple…

The last dose of chemo is like getting a decree nisi in a divorce; it’s all over bar the shouting, but you have a few more weeks to get through until the decree absolute can be issued. In my case, FEC absolute can’t be announced until we’ve got through another two weeks of full-on nastiness: first, the nausea and toxic swamp stomach extravaganza, then the ‘nadir’ with the nuked immune system,  concomitant fatigue and high danger of infection. FEC can still have a last go at putting me in hospital again, so the last dose isn’t a full stop; it’s a semi-colon before FEC and 1 go on to finish my sentence inside the chemical prison.

We’re almost there, but not quite – but at least I can go to bed tonight safe in the knowledge that I’m never going to have face the freezing agony of the pink helmet again.

I’m very tired and weak and woozy after the chemo, so I’ll stop there and return to cradling my new big bottle of Dexys to my bosom on the sofa. Normal service will be resumed tomorrow…

Chemo Rat Brian nestled in my big knitted throw (and future shroud )

on the sofa, looking after the Dexys while I write this blog post

Many thanks to all of you who were willing my neutrophils on to victory, yesterday; it must have worked, because they turned up for the vital blood test all present and correct.