Day 4
General
status update:
Hair
– was allowed to wash it today. But strictly NO HAIRDRYERNausea – starting to kick in, but bearable
Anxiety level (1-10) – too tired to worry about anything
State of mind – fragile
..but I gather the side effects are pretty much the
same.
Yesterday I turned into a fairly reasonable facsimile
of a whirling dervish, thanks to the steroid high provided by Dexamethasone,
which is prescribed for the first couple of days after each chemo dose to
alleviate the nausea. FEC is notorious for nausea – one of the most
vomit-inducing chemo regimens. But only for the first week of every cycle,
apparently.
I had been expecting to spend my first post-chemo day
lying on the sofa and weeping, with intermittent dashes to the bathroom to
throw up. However, with the help of the various anti-emetic drugs and the
steroids the nausea, although very much present, stayed in the background, and
I worked hard most of the day writing and publishing a lengthy blog post; at
2am I was still at my computer, playing Mah Jong and listening to Radio 4
podcasts. Steroids give you lots of energy, but they really don’t want to let you go to sleep.
Today came the first post-steroid crash, of which I
had been forewarned: I woke up, and remained, feeling weak, weepy and nauseous.
But it will go. This is the worst day of the cycle, they say. And hence a
shortish blog post, but I hope to do better tomorrow.
I have managed to get some food down, and go for an
hour’s walk – regular exercise is important to help you tolerate the chemo
better. I have, very cautiously, washed my hair (you can’t do this until at
least 24 hours after the cold cap treatment), but am no longer allowed to use a
hairdryer, so it has to look after itself from now on.
I am fully expecting to go bald in the end, but the
cold cap should help to delay the process. When my mother heard that I was
going to have to have chemo –
… ah, this is perhaps the
time to introduce you to MamaFo, an important off-stage presence.
My mother is 81 years old,
lives in the foothills of the Tramuntana Mountains in Mallorca, and is in
generally excellent health, despite existing on a diet which consists
principally of prawns, full-strength Benson & Hedges and dubious Spanish
brandy. She swears her longevity, still-spectacular good looks and continued
mental acuity are down to smoking a large, um, home-grown herbal cigarette,
every evening just before bed time. She has been doing this for the last 30
years. You must realise that everything I say about my mother, however
outlandish, is true: you simply COULD NOT MAKE IT UP.
And if you look at the
photograph below, you will see that there is every reason to believe her claims
- my mother could easily be mistaken for Joanna Lumley’s rather more glamorous
elder sister:
Anyway, when my sister broke the news to her that I
was, after all, going to have chemo, (which had not initially been thought
necessary), MamaFo immediately asked
‘Does that mean all her hair will fall out?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. But it will grow back again
later.’
There was a long silence as my mother inhaled deeply
on her cigarette, and then blew out the smoke, emitting a thoughtful ‘Ah’.
Then, brightening, she added ‘Oh well, darling,
Caroline’s hair has always been a complete
catastrophe, so perhaps it will grow back a bit better next time.’
Mothers and their daughters' hair. It's the one reliable reaction there is.
ReplyDeleteYup: one of the great eternal truths..
DeleteOh my God...unbelievable to me that you still can find and transmit such humor under these circumstances, when you would be allowed a bit of weepy self-pity. Thank you for taking us with you on this journey...and yes, your mother looks amazing. Can I have some of what she has? The MA Janet
ReplyDeleteThere are only 2 possible explanations for my mother: either
Deletea) she has a portrait hidden away in the attic somewhere, or
b) she sold her soul to the Devil in about 1979.
No other explanation makes sense.
Take your pick.
AH, YES! MamaFo makes her appearance!
ReplyDeleteWell, you knew that wasn't going t otake very long, didn't you?
DeleteCaroline m'dear, very sorry to hear you find yourself in this utterly shite position but very glad you have R in your life to convince you to go for the chemo. It's years since the old Lounge days (it was Bob who let the remaining Loungers know about your blog) but I remember you with such fondness -and your cakes!
ReplyDeletelots of love
Mave (Christina) and Pistachio
PS. Pistachio is getting married in March!!!
How lovely to hear from you, Mave, and what brilliant news about Pistachio! xx
DeleteCaroline aka Cybele aka my wonderful orgling Llama queen consort, have only just realised your plight thanks to the awfulness of Twitter, and insist we meet in London for some sort of fateful handkerchief-to-head sighing session in the New Year. Or ELSE! -Bob
ReplyDeleteAh, the orgling...
DeleteHappy, happy days.
Looking forward to seeing you, Bob xx
Pueblo Girl is spot on. My mother-in-law lives with us and I really can't recall a single instance when she's approved of anything my wife has done or accomplished in life! :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's what mothers are for, Glen.
DeleteI see that Ms. Scheherazade is appearing in full force telling amusing tales of her chic, hip & gorgeous mother and that you, Caroline, are taking good care of yourself-eating & exercising what a wonder you are!
ReplyDeleteIt's all whistling in the dark, really, but hey...
DeleteMy mother, my friend :) I have a wealth of similar stories. Apart from 'Jesus, you've put on the beef' which was a regular favourite of my maw, there was also 'Andrea's hair grows like a weed'.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is an inspiration, Ms Fo. Keep going, be strong and know we are all here for you
Gibbzer xx
'You've put on the beef' made me laugh, very much.
DeleteAnd thank you. You guys are THE BEST xx